17 Musings of a Jamaican Canadian

A few musings and nuggets that highlight the random thoughts of a Jamaican bred, Canadian.

  1. Packing so I’m not overweight is my struggle. I have definitely been ‘that’ person moving things from my checked bag to carryon at the airport – and more than once.
  2. Yes, I’ve felt the lack of diversity at school and in the workplace like so many minority professionals. But the sole advantage of this is being able to kiss my teeth freely (if you don’t know what this is – urban dictionary is your friend) knowing no one is there to chastise me for it. I have and will continue to take full advantage of this solitary pro.
  3. I’m always on the hunt for a quality box lunch (Jamaican take out lunch meal) in Toronto.
  4. There is absolutely no reason why the line at the bank and the passport office in Jamaica need to be THAT long and THAT slow.
  5. The look of confusion on my face is downright obvious when people say they can’t tell that I have an accent. Is this because I’m speaking standard English and not patois? *waiting for an explanation*
  6. But at the same time I walk into Canadian Tire (home and hardware store) and have a conversation like this:
    1. Me: “Excuse me where are the portable heaters?” (because I’m obviously always cold)
    2. Sales Rep: “sorry?”’
    3. Me: “the portable heaters”
    4. Sales Rep: “I’m sorry, what?”
    5. Me: “the portable heeedders”
    6. Sales Rep: “oohh, aisle 7”
    7. Me: *still waiting for an explanation*
  7. I still struggle with these lake “beaches”. I have yet to full enter into one. I think I’ve stuck my big toe into the water twice – that’s about it.
  8. Sometimes I let out those old(er) English words and phrases in regular day to day conversation… words like “abreast” .
  9. Living in Jamaica I always thought it was better to be cold than hot. Canada has revealed the fallacy behind that thought process.
  10. Canada and the US are definitely not the same. And I came to this realization well before Trump was elected.
  11. Living outside of the Greater Toronto Area I question: WHERE do all these people of colour (I’m talking like entire families!) come from every spring? It’s like they’ve been hibernating all winter making me feel like more of a minority than I actually maybe am.
  12. Can you really call yourself my friend if I’ve never busted out some random patois phrase or Jamaican idiom in conversation, regardless of whether or not I think you can or would understand?
  13. When you complain about the potholes in Jamaica, but also complain about the road construction every spring in Ontario to avoid the same potholes you can’t stand and would otherwise complain about. A bit cyclical isn’t it?
  14. Tim Hortons is basically the Jamaican equivalent of a patty shop. More or less everyone can appreciate Timmy’s in Canada or a patty in Jamaica – regardless of your background.
  15. I’m pretty sure Goodlife fitness sells more Goodlife branded gym bags than actual gym memberships.
  16. *fries plantain* …. *eats entire plantain while frying said plantain*
  17. When people open the car door in the middle of oncoming traffic in Toronto I have to wonder – do you want to keep your car door? In other places in the world (Jamaica) that would be detached from your car before you could blink.

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5 thoughts on “17 Musings of a Jamaican Canadian

  1. You had me laughing!! especially with the line on timmies…I am truly now a Jamaican Canadian, I need a constant supply of both patties..and tim bits

    Like

  2. hahaha. You hit the nail on the head with every one of those points. Glad to read a witty, light-hearted post.
    P.S. Hibernation is a real thing.

    Like

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